Keeping Balance

Sometimes when people look, they say my life seems in balance. They might even envy me for it.

They rarely noticed the struggles in my daily life, keeping myself in this balance.

But they could have seen, if they wouldn’t just look shortly…but actually pay attention to what they saw.

My life is in unbalance with many insecurities. I have tried so many things to find the balance. But it is still not there.

I’ve grown tired of moving around to find it, since nothing really seemed to help. My kindness is mistaken for weakness. My knowledge for arrogance. And my will to help is taken abuse of.

I have lost track of how to act with people. It now keeps me stuck in one place where I hold on to the grip I still have. In a state that still merely looks like a balance.

But everyone knows that a balance like this takes too much strength and energy on the long term. The question is not if it tips over, but when that will happen.

And after that one question remains….what will be left?